Someday You Will Be Loved - Matt
SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE LOVED
I once knew a girl in the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer, all beauty and truth
But in the morning I fled, left a note and it read
"Someday you will be loved"
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
And as the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved
You'll be loved, you'll be loved
Like you never have known
And memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And every time tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
And someday you will be loved
* * * * *
He couldn’t do it anymore, fooling himself every day he woke up and every night he went to sleep. In his head he knew he should be happy with what he had and that there was no reason for him to feel like he was doing something wrong. Beside him lay a beautiful girl sleeping and he watched her fondly and that was when he made his decision.
Rising slowly from his bed afraid to wake her he got up to walk to their living room, grabbing his clothes that had been lying forgotten all over the floor along the way. He summoned a piece of parchment and picked up his quill not really knowing how to explain his actions. It was indeed a weird thing to do, both of them were happy and there was no apparent reason for him to go away. But he knew somewhere deep down that this love was just not meant to be and that it would be foolish – not to mention unfair – to stay; she deserved better than him.
True, he was the Boy-Who-Lived not to mention the one to defeat Voldemort once and for all, but she deserved someone who could love her unconditionally and worshipped every inch of earth she walked on. What they shared was not pure love, at least not from his side. He often wondered if she was in love with him, because he knew for sure he wasn’t really in love with her. The last few months he had kept deluding himself that he was happy and there was nothing better in the world than having her by his side. And what was there to not be happy about, everybody was happy: his surrogate family, his friends and possibly everybody who ever cared about him. The only problem was that he didn’t feel at home, he didn’t feel comfortable; it felt like he was constantly running, while he had been hoping for some peace after the defeat of his archenemy.
Finally he made up his mind and wrote five simple words on the parchment and left it on the kitchen table. He took one last look at their apartment and apparated away leaving her behind forever.
* * *
She woke up roughly two hours after his departure, rolling over to snuggle up to her boyfriend only to find an emptiness beside her. Confused she opened her eyes, he never left the bed before her or at least he never had till now. She shouted his name but no answer came, a second – and even third and fourth - try had no result either. There could have been hundreds of reasons for him not being here, but each one more unlikely than the other. He should at least have had the decency to tell her he was going out she thought warily.
They lived in a heavily protected apartment, far away from all the commotion of the wizarding world. It was the way Harry had wanted it, he never got used to all the fame and attention that never seemed to stop and even seemed to increase every passing day. Only a few selected friends knew where they lived, but there was nothing at all that was important enough to go away but not important enough to keep him from waking her.
She looked at the clock in their living room, just a few minutes past seven, so no chance he had gone off for breakfast either. Worry came over her as she searched through her apartment for clues. Her eyes fell on a piece of parchment on the floor that seemed to have fallen of the table because of the wind sweeping through the open window.
‘Someday you will be loved’
That was all it said, she turned the paper confused by the strange message. No, it was all there was; no clue from who it was or for who it was intended. She knew that it was Harry’s handwriting and merging it with the sudden disappearance of Harry there was only one sensible explanation, one that she dreaded more than anything. She knew it had been coming, she had felt it in the air. His reluctance to stay in the house and his reluctance to take her out.
She had been wanting to believe he loved her, but at the same time she knew that it was hard - impossible even – to make him feel that way. He had been faithful and stuck by her all the time, but now was the time to let him go. He deserved better, he deserved to be selfish for once in his life and know true happiness, a feat he couldn’t find with her.
There was no denying she wasn’t heartbroken, she had truly loved him and still did. For a long time she wanted to tell him that, but she couldn’t get it out of her mouth because she knew that either disappointment or guilt would follow. Disappointment for not getting the response she wanted or guilt for forcing him into something his heart was not really in to.
Yeah, she’d get over this and giving the piece of crumpled parchment a glance gave her a sense of reassurance. Someday she would find the right guy, but she would never forget about him. Ever.
* * * [ Five years later ] * * *
‘Ginny! I’m home!’ came a loud voice from downstairs.
‘Hi honey, how was work today? I hope they didn’t make you work to hard,’ said Ginny walking down the stairs and giving the man she loved with all her heart a soft kiss.
Like Harry’s silent promise had said she had found love in it’s purest form. Of course she never really forgot him, but just seeing her husband made her forget most of those images; sending them to the back of her mind, only shadows of what they used to be.
She had cried for days after their – or rather his – break-up, the realization of the fact that he wouldn’t return to her crashing on her with full force when she went to Hermione for comfort. For days she had felt lonely and lost, but never had she been angry, remembering the note Harry left her. That note had been her saviour in the hard times following their break-up. It gave her hope when all seemed lost and it gave her mind just enough relief to give her some sleep.
About a year later she met Bart, the complete opposite of Harry. At first she kept him at bay afraid of letting herself love him, just to be heart-broken once again if he left. But he never left, even while she had been so closed off he tried to break through her defences and eventually he succeeded.
One note was all she had gotten from Harry in the last five years, explaining his actions and assuring her there was absolutely nothing she had done wrong. She still kept it along with a box of her belongings in Hogwarts, but she hadn’t read it ever since she met Bart. She didn’t need it anymore; Harry was a closed chapter in her life, but it was a chapter she still thought of fondly.
* * *
I’m sorry I left you the way I did, but it would have been to hard for me to do it while you were awake. I know: I’m a big bloody coward and I put Gryffindor to shame that day. The truth is that I still care for you, just not in the way you deserve to be cared about. If I would have told you face-to-face I would have broken down and that would have done neither of us good.
Always remember that you didn’t do anything wrong, it was all my fault. I’m not saying I regret blowing things of, nor do I regret any minute I spent with you. But know that there is someone out there who’ll love you back in a way I never could – big cliché, but I know it’s true and I know that deep down you know it’s true too. We just never were meant to be, you always needed to be doing something, while all I wanted was to sit back and enjoy the rest of my life in peace.
I’m going off now, searching for the woman who’ll make an honest man out of me. Don’t dwell on losing me, I don’t deserve that, but go out there and find the man I couldn’t be. When you have him I’ll just be some bad memory, a nightmare more likely so you’ll forget me soon enough. And if I meet you again in ten years and you’re not happily married, you’ll have some explaining to do young lady! Okay… that was my sick and badly timed attempt at humour. Don’t worry, no pressure at all and don’t forget: time doesn’t exist when it comes to love.
I’ll never forget you.